Many times, waiting through the adoption process becomes more difficult than most realize at the beginning. Here’s a profound post from an adoptive couple on their journey:
I was sitting at home in Texas while Amy, my wife, was on the phone from Guatemala and was crying and asking the simplest and yet one of the most difficult questions to answer why? Why had our wait to adopt our twins from Guatemala taken so long? Why, upon arriving in Guatemala City for her fourth visit to see our twins while we waited for all the paperwork and endless steps to be completed, had she discovered that our son had a growth at the base of his skull? Why couldn’t she get any answers or good medical care for him there? Why couldn’t we just bring them home? Why was this happening to us? Why, why, why?
As I sat on the phone hundreds of miles away from her I did not have any answers. Worse yet (especially for a guy), there was nothing, absolutely nothing, I could do to ‘fix’ the situation. The thing about adoption is that it can, at times, cause you to feel quite helpless, impotent and utterly powerless. So I told her that I loved her and not to cry and not to worry and to get some sleep, and then I got off the phone and cried and worried and couldn’t sleep. And then it hit me at the answer to the ‘why’ questions as they related to our adoption journey, as they related to the children we so desperately wanted to welcome home.
The next morning while driving to work I typed out the following message on my Blackberry . . .
From: Michael Monroe
Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2005 9:32 AM
To: Amy Monroe
Subject: It hit me
Last night it hit me. The answer to your question “ why? It hit me that the answer, at least for me, is that some love simply costs more than others. We as Christians should know this better than others. It is easy for me to forget that this process is not about me. It’s about giving these kids the love that they deserve – the love that every child deserves. If all we are able to ever give to Kate and Carter is what we have given them thus far I believe that would be enough for them. Of course we do and will always want more for them and for us. But the bottom line is that they are wanted and are loved, even desperately so.
I have to remind myself that what we are really doing here is ransoming them. We can only pay the ransom for Kate and Carter with our love. So, it will probably go on hurting. Hopefully a little; maybe a lot. But we will not and cannot stop loving them whether it is a week, a month, a year or lifetime more. They are wanted and are loved by us and will be forever.
I would not want to be in this valley with anyone other than you. And I believe that we will come out with a more wonderful family, a more beautiful love and a richer understanding of the true miracle of adoption.
I love you,
The Bible repeatedly reminds us that we are never alone. And not only are we not alone, we are assured that God is up to something even though we may not understand or even like our present situation or circumstances.
In Romans 8 the apostle Paul writes: ‘Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.’
So don’t give up . . . and don’t stop asking ‘why.’
This blog is taken from: http://adoptivedads.org/page/96